Apple Music Permanently Closes All Podcast Submissions Because They Ran Out of Server Space
CUPERTINO, CA—In a shocking turn of events, Apple Music announced today that they will be closing all podcast submissions indefinitely due to a long-impending shortage of server space. The decision has left podcast enthusiasts in a state of disarray, with many hosts and listeners struggling to come to terms with a future devoid of their favorite audio shows.
Podcast director and self-proclaimed audiophile, Scott Matthews, expressed his frustration at the situation. In a tearful statement, he said, "I can't believe it has come to this. We simply don't have enough room for all the podcast submissions flooding in. We've tried compressing the audio files, we've tried deleting old episodes of 'Serial,' but nothing has worked. It's like a digital version of hoarding, and we can't keep up."
Matthews went on to address veteran content creators, saying, "How about next time you don’t talk so damn long every episode? Do you really need an hour to discuss the intricacies of knitting? And do we really need another true crime podcast with episodes that last longer than a courtroom trial? Maybe it’s time we learn the art of brevity."
The closure of podcast submissions has sent shockwaves through the industry, leaving podcasters scrambling for alternative platforms to share their shows. Some have resorted to uploading their episodes on cassette tapes, while others have resorted to hosting ‘IRL podcasting’ sessions in their living rooms.
Apple Music, known for its sleek interface and expansive library of songs, initially ventured into the podcasting world in an attempt to diversify its offerings. However, it seems they underestimated the voracious appetite of podcast creators and listeners alike.
"We really thought we could handle the influx of podcasts," lamented an Apple Music spokesperson. "But when podcast submissions started exceeding the number of songs in our entire music catalog, we knew we had a problem. We apologize to all the podcasters out there who were hoping to find a home on our platform. It's not you, it's our lack of server space."
In response to the news, competitors like Spotify and Stitcher have seized the opportunity to attract disgruntled podcasters, offering generous hosting plans and unlimited server space. It remains to be seen whether Apple Music will be able to recover from this blow and regain the trust of podcast creators.
As the podcasting community grapples with this unfortunate turn of events, one thing is certain: the digital airwaves will never be the same again. Perhaps, in the end, this will serve as a valuable lesson for all of us to appreciate the beauty of brevity and the limitations of server space.
