Bill Gates Accidentally Deletes Everyone’s Files in the World by Sneezing on His iPhone

Dunko Xyvir
2 min readJul 19, 2024

--

Redmond, WA — In a bizarre twist of fate, tech mogul Bill Gates has inadvertently wiped out every file on every Microsoft PC worldwide after an unexpected sneeze triggered a catastrophic chain reaction on his iPhone.

The incident occurred during a routine meeting at the Gates Foundation, where Gates, battling a mild summer cold, reached for his iPhone to check an email. Unbeknownst to him, a new fail-safe app, designed to prevent unauthorized access to sensitive data, had been installed on his device. This app, still in its beta phase, was programmed to delete all files from Microsoft’s global infrastructure if it detected a specific sequence of biometric inputs — in this case, a sneeze.

Witnesses report that Gates, in a moment of distraction, sneezed directly onto his phone, inadvertently activating the app. Within seconds, the app executed its fail-safe protocol, sending a deletion command to every Microsoft PC, server, and cloud storage unit across the globe.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said an anonymous Microsoft engineer. “One moment, I was working on a critical update, and the next, everything was gone. It was like watching a digital apocalypse unfold in real-time.”

The fallout has been unprecedented. Personal files, business documents, server data, embedded systems, and even mobile devices running Microsoft software were all affected. The global economy has been thrown into chaos as businesses scramble to recover lost data, and individuals mourn the loss of irreplaceable personal memories.

In a hastily arranged press conference, a visibly shaken Gates apologized profusely. “I never imagined a simple sneeze could cause such widespread devastation,” he said. “We will do everything in our power to restore the data and ensure this never happens again.”

Microsoft has since deactivated the fail-safe app and is working around the clock to recover as much data as possible. Meanwhile, Gates has reportedly switched to using a handkerchief and is considering a return to using a more traditional flip phone.

--

--

Dunko Xyvir

"I don't want to be aginger anymore." ----- Editor-in-Chief of tech e-zine 'Grames Infomer'