FDA Urges Americans to Stop Copying the Dad from Never-ending Story by Putting a Raw Egg in Their Orange Juice

In a bizarre twist of events, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued an urgent warning to Americans, urging them to cease and desist from emulating the questionable breakfast habits of the infamous dad from the movie “Never-ending Story.” Yes, you heard it right. The FDA is on a mission to save us from ourselves once again, as they tirelessly work to combat the alarming epidemic of raw egg consumption.

If you’re scratching your head and wondering how a beloved ’80s movie character could be the root cause of a health crisis, we’re here to enlighten you. In “Never-ending Story,” the quirky and eccentric dad, played by Gerald McRaney, is depicted as the culinary mastermind behind the revolutionary idea of adding raw eggs to his morning orange juice. Brilliant, right? Or so he thought.

It seems that some creative minds in the real world decided to try out this bizarre concoction, and the results have been less than ideal. Hospitals across the nation are witnessing an alarming surge in cases of raw-egg-related illnesses. From Salmonella stardom to Campylobacter calamities, the consequences of this breakfast experiment have been eggstremely concerning.

Dr. Emma Wondertale, a spokesperson for the FDA, issued a statement saying, “While we admire the dad’s creativity in the movie, we must remind everyone that ‘Never-ending Story’ is a work of fiction. Raw eggs pose serious health risks, and we strongly advise against incorporating them into your orange juice or any other culinary endeavor, for that matter.”

So, what exactly happens when you embark on the “Never-ending Story” breakfast adventure? Well, picture this: you wake up, craving something unique to spice up your day, and you remember that iconic movie scene. You grab an egg from the fridge, crack it open, and gleefully drop it into your glass of orange juice. Voilà! You’ve got yourself a raw-egg-orange-juice extravaganza.

The problem is that raw eggs may contain harmful bacteria like Salmonella or Campylobacter, which can lead to serious foodborne illnesses. These microscopic party crashers can turn your breakfast dreams into a stomach-churning nightmare. Vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain — you name it, and you’ll likely experience it. But hey, at least you’ll have a “Never-ending Story” of your own, albeit one that you’d rather forget.

In response to the FDA’s warning, some die-hard fans of the movie have expressed their disappointment. “It’s all in the spirit of nostalgia and fandom,” said one avid “Never-ending Story” enthusiast. “We just wanted to feel closer to the movie, you know? But I guess it’s not worth the risk.”

As the nation grapples with this peculiar epidemic, it’s essential to remember that not everything from the silver screen is suitable for real-life consumption. If you’re craving adventure and a break from the ordinary, stick to trying out new hobbies or visiting exotic locations — just don’t put raw eggs in your orange juice. Let’s leave that to the world of fantasy where it belongs.

In conclusion, heed the FDA’s advice, and let’s put an end to the “Never-ending Story” breakfast trend before it becomes an actual never-ending nightmare. And remember, folks, raw eggs in orange juice might seem like a good idea in the movies, but in real life, it’s definitely not worth the yolks! Stay safe and eat your eggs cooked and your orange juice egg-free.