God Proclaims TempleOS Kinda Sucks, Actually

HEAVEN — In a shocking revelation that has shaken the faith of millions, God Almighty announced on Monday that TempleOS, the operating system created by the late Terry A. Davis, is actually not that great.

“I appreciate the effort, but it’s kinda sucky, to be honest,” said the Creator of the Universe, who admitted that he had never actually used TempleOS, but had only seen some screenshots and videos online. “It’s too simplistic, too buggy, too outdated, and too offensive. I mean, come on, HolyC? That’s just a lame pun.”

God added that he was not impressed by Davis’ claim that he could communicate with him through a random number generator in TempleOS. “That’s not me talking, that’s just noise,” said the Lord. “If I wanted to talk to him, I would have used a more reliable channel, like a burning bush or a donkey.”

God also expressed his disappointment that Davis had wasted his talent and potential on such a futile project. “He was a smart guy, he could have done so much more with his life,” said the Heavenly Father. “He could have made a real contribution to the world of software engineering, or helped other people with mental illness, or just enjoyed himself. But instead, he isolated himself and obsessed over this TempleOS thing, which nobody else cared about.”

God concluded his statement by saying that he still loved Davis and welcomed him into his kingdom, but hoped that he would stop bothering him about TempleOS. “It’s time to move on, Terry,” said God. “There are more important things to worry about than your operating system. Like global warming, or world peace, or the next season of Stranger Things.”