Missouri Legalizes Launching Yourself with a 600-pound Medieval Trebuchet Without Wearing a Motorcycle Helmet

COLUMBIA, MO — In a groundbreaking move that has left safety regulators scratching their heads, the state of Missouri has officially passed legislation allowing citizens to catapult themselves using massive medieval trebuchets without the requirement of wearing a motorcycle helmet. This bold new approach to commuting has captured the imagination of Missourians and is rapidly gaining traction across the state.

Proponents of the legislation argue that this unconventional mode of transportation not only reduces traffic congestion but also taps into the state’s rich historical heritage. “We Missourians have always had a pioneering spirit,” said Governor Claire Thompson. “What better way to pay homage to our past while launching ourselves into the future?”

Local enthusiasts have embraced the trebuchet trend with fervor, converting their backyards into makeshift launchpads and proudly flaunting their trebuchets with bumper stickers that read “My Other Vehicle is a Catapult!” In St. Louis, a group of trebuchet commuters has even formed a club called “Trebuchet Travelers,” complete with regular meetups to share trebuchet maintenance tips and discuss optimal launch angles.

Of course, concerns about safety have been raised. Critics point out that hurtling through the air at high speeds without protective headgear could lead to serious injuries. However, proponents argue that the thrill of trebuchet commuting lies in the element of danger.

“I’ve never felt more alive than when I’m soaring through the sky without a helmet,” said Mark Johnson, a trebuchet commuter from Kansas City. “Who needs a helmet when you’ve got the wind in your hair and the ground rapidly approaching?”

Local businesses are also cashing in on the trend. Bicycle helmet shops are now offering “Trebuchet-Grade Helmets,” which are essentially just regular helmets with a medieval design twist, for those who want to adhere to the spirit of the law while still prioritizing their cranium’s well-being.

As trebuchet popularity skyrockets, other states are keeping a close watch on Missouri’s experiment. If the trend continues to grow, it might just become the next big thing in alternative transportation. In the meantime, Missourians are strapping in — or not — for the ride of their lives, as they catapult themselves into a new era of commuting innovation.