Newest Mario 64 Speedrunning Strat Involves Creating Real-Life Time Paradoxes
In a mind-boggling turn of events, the world of Super Mario 64 speedrunning has been thrown into a whirlwind of temporal disturbances and mind-bending paradoxes. The discovery, made by YouTuber extraordinaire pannenkoken, has sent shockwaves through the speedrunning community and left even the most seasoned players scratching their heads.
The trick, which requires a convoluted combination of HOLP (Held Object Last Position) manipulation, BLJs (Backwards Long Jumps), and PUs (Parallel Universe Glitches), is said to enable players to create real-life time paradoxes within the game. Yes, you heard that right — time paradoxes.
According to pannenkoken’s groundbreaking video guide, by executing a precise and esoteric sequence of inputs and glitches, speedrunners can essentially bend the fabric of time and space within the game. This opens up a whole new realm of possibilities for achieving unprecedented speedrun times. However, there’s just one tiny catch — actually replicating the trick has proven to be an elusive feat.
Countless speedrunners around the world have attempted to recreate pannenkoken’s discovery, only to find themselves embroiled in a maddening cycle of confusion. Each time they revisit pannenkoken’s guide, the video content inexplicably changes due to the temporal disturbances caused by the trick itself. It’s as if the very act of watching the guide alters the timeline, making it increasingly difficult to grasp the precise steps needed to execute the strat.
“I’ve been trying to recreate the trick for weeks now,” said a frustrated speedrunner who wished to remain anonymous. “Every time I watch pannenkoken’s guide, it’s like I’m watching a different video altogether. The glitches keep evolving, the explanations become more convoluted, and the number of steps multiplies with each viewing. On the latest rewatch, the video length was 274 hours.”
The speedrunning community is now abuzz with speculation and theories about the nature of these time paradoxes. Some believe that pannenkoken has stumbled upon a glitch that not only affects the game but also the very fabric of reality itself. Others argue that this is merely a fluke, caused by cosmic background radiation flipping a bit.
Despite the challenges, pannenkoken remains optimistic and continues to experiment with the strat. “I’m determined to uncover the true potential of this discovery,” they said in a recent interview. “Even if it means navigating through countless TDPUs (timeline-divergent parallel universes), and getting lost in an endless labyrinth of paradoxes, I won’t rest until I’ve pushed Mario 64 speedrunning to its absolute limits.”
As the Mario 64 speedrunning community grapples with the enigma of real-life time paradoxes, one thing is certain — the line between the virtual and the real has never been blurrier. Will pannenkoken’s discovery unlock a new era of speedrunning mastery, or will it forever remain an elusive mystery trapped within the confines of the game? Only time will tell. Or perhaps, in this case, time will paradoxically refuse to tell.
