Records Unsealed After O.J.’s Death Prove He Assassinated JFK
In a shocking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the conspiracy theory community, newly unsealed records have exposed the true mastermind behind the assassination of President John F. Kennedy: none other than 16-year-old O.J. Simpson. Yes, you read that correctly. The Juice, as he is affectionately known, allegedly orchestrated one of the most infamous events in American history.
The Juice Is Loose
The evidence against Simpson is compelling, to say the least. Here are some of the key findings from the recently unsealed documents:
- The Golf Club Connection: According to the files, O.J. was an avid golfer. But it wasn’t just his handicap that caught investigators’ attention. It was the peculiar set of golf clubs he owned — a custom-made set with irons forged from the melted-down remains of Lee Harvey Oswald’s rifle. Coincidence? We think not.
- The Glove Fits: Remember the infamous glove from the O.J. Simpson trial? Well, it turns out that it wasn’t just any glove. It was a one-of-a-kind, hand-stitched leather glove that bore the initials “JFK.” Experts believe that Simpson wore this glove during the assassination, leaving behind a trail of incriminating DNA.
- The Juice’s Alibi: O.J. claimed he was playing golf at the time of the assassination. But eyewitnesses have come forward, testifying that they saw him on the grassy knoll, dressed in a stylish ’60s suit and sporting a fedora. One witness even swears she heard him mutter, “Fore!” just before the fatal shot rang out.
The Cover-Up
So why has this information been hidden for so long? According to our anonymous source, the government feared that revealing O.J.’s involvement would cause mass panic. Imagine the chaos if the public learned that a former football star was also an assassin.
But now that O.J. has shuffled off this mortal coil, the truth can finally be told. The Juice is Loose.
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